Host Family Tragedy: A Death in the Family

My host family recently experienced a death in the family; my grandfather on my mother’s side pasted away three and a half weeks ago, a week before mid-LPI and mid-center days in Darkhan. His passing came at a very bad time for there was a series of ‘bad news’ events that happened around the same time (i.e. my other grandfather on my father’s side fell really ill and had to be taken to a hospital in UB, the family had received news that their pervious PCV had ET (Early Terminate)). I suppose the American saying “when it rains, it pours” is appropriate here. With the sudden trip to UB and the unexpected passing of my grandfather combined with my week long absence between mid-center days in Darkhan and CYD training at Summer Labor Camp near Erdenet, I hardly saw my family for over two weeks, especially my eej (mother). And when I did see her again – two and half weeks after her father had passed – she was (still) crying, laying in the living room covered with blankets and head compresses, inconsolable.

The funeral was held in the khodoo (countryside), where my grandfather had lived and died. Since the funeral took place the day before my mid-LPI and two days before I left for Darkhan, I could not attend. The night before the funeral, the remainder of my family – two younger brothers and a younger sister – left for the khodoo. Up to this point, it had only been my host parents who had been away to be with the rest of the other family members. I, in turn, was left in good hands; my brother’s friend stayed two nights to guard the house and my sister’s friend came by the morning to cook me breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and help me prepare for my mid-LPI then left to go back to her house.

This all had happened before I received cross-culture training in the rituals of Mongolian funerals and passings, thus, I had no idea of what to do or what to say, if anything. So I did the one thing that came to mind, I gave a sentimental ‘happy gift’, one that I was going to save until end of PST but decided that now was a better time; I gave the gift of photographs (Mongolians absolutely love photographs; digital cameras and personal computers are rare here so hand-held glossy photographs are still treasured). Seventeen beautifully developed colorful photographs of a family trip to the Mongolia-Russian boarder, the khodoo (which included horseback riding, goat chasing, Mongolian song singing, a ger visit), and a picnic in Sainnii Hutul Peak National Park. My pictures now sit in a photo album all by themselves and proudly brought out with every new visitor to the house.

Some are displayed below: